Before the "last weekend" update

OK, i was going to write something witty and insightful (huh?) and as usual, i have the TV blaring behind me. Chris Angel's mindfreak is on- double take here- mindfreak? Did a copy wash up on shore just as a TV Exec was walking past?
This guy freaks me out, not just with his illusions but also with his originality and presentation. Cue him walking around Vegas, he approaches a blond girl in a tight little white top and does a voodoo doll bit where he takes something from her, ties it to the doll, she turns her back to Chris and he hold a lighter to the doll's leg, making the girl feel it in her corresponding leg! They then cut to other people he does this with before he turns the tables on himself and gets them to stick pins on the doll, making him bleed on queue, including, in one instance, through his nose.
Freaks. Everyone. Out.
The blond girl is so into what is going on and probably would have taken her clothes off if Chris had asked him.
Right there i was thinking, being a street magician is a chick puller. Totally.
Coming up, its his Mom's 70th birthday and Chris decides his going to perform a street illusion where he lights himself up like a giant birthday candle... ha, ha! i was so going to do this last year. Goth loving, Korn listening bitch stole my act.
Update. He does the trick/stunt/illusion walks around on fire for 45 seconds and falls flat on his face on the ground only to disappear in an instant and becomes one of the guys with the fire extinguisher. Cheers all round and Mom is crying happy.

The other thing i ended watching was a little number screening on SBS called "Dreamship Surprise: Period 1" A German spoof of Star Trek crossed with Star Wars. Its main characters are named Captain Cork and Spurk, or Spurky as Captain Cork calls him. Camp galore. Time travelling on a sofa. Bad guy is a Vader type called Lord Mouth. Go SBS, go!
BTW, its the second highest grossing film of all time in Germany after Lord of the Rings. I kid you not. Those Germans.

Its 1 AM and its raining like a fucking biblical flood is coming. This would be nice if i had a naked body spooned up against me in my constantly 22 degrees, red lighted Love shack, but as it is, everyone i have or could have sex with is definitely sleeping alone tonight. I know this. For a fact. Seriously. OK except for one my ex GFs, who's recently married - they are probably rooting like little monkeys right now but who cares, i got her first, Assturd.