Internet Dating Terms Men Use and What they Really Mean

Its scary but 80% true... not as it applies to me, you understand, but in general.
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Internet Dating Terms Men Use and What they Really Mean:

“40-ish”: Over 50 and looking for a 25 year-old
“Athletic”: Watches a lot of sports on TV
“Average looking”: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
“Educated”: Will patronize you all the time
“Free Spirit”: Will bang anything that moves
“Friendship first”: As long as friendship involves sex
“Good looking”: Arrogant
“Very good looking”: Dumb as a board
“Honest”: Pathological Liar
“Huggable”: Overweight and hairy like a bear
“Likes to cuddle”: Insecure mama’s boy
“Mature”: Older than your father
“Open-minded”: Wants to have threesomes with your friends
“Physically fit”: Does a lot of beer can curls
“Poet”: Wrote ex-girlfriend’s phone number on a bathroom stall
“Sensitive”: Cries if you want him to go see a chick flick
“Very sensitive”: Gay, just wants to procreate
“Spiritual”: Got laid in a cemetery once
“Stable”: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
“Thoughtful”: Says “Excuse me” when he farts